note to self: photograph bb Theo more
(he is always in a competition with Rorschach for my attention, & alas, Rorschach is willing to do anything & everything to get my attention, so poor Theo never ends up getting photographed)
My little Bonkers is getting so big!!! (and by “big,” I mean like half the size of most female rats…she is itsy bitsy!)
I’m going to assume you are in that boat, so first off, I’m very sorry. :(
In my case, I don’t know that I would have been a whole lot happier with most degrees, to be honest. I’m not very good in social settings & I’m not very good with people my own age. I do think it was particularly worse because I was in business school at a large state school that was almost entirely very wealthy, very privileged “normal looking” white people, many of whom had never had jobs, whereas I come from a middle class home, was not getting any financial support from my parents, had pink hair, had been working since I was 16, & was working full-time at a dollar store while going to school. I’m not saying that in a “wah wah poor me” way because I know that there are plenty of college students in similar situations, but I had very little in common with most of those people.
I didn’t participate in any extracurricular things & wouldn’t have even if I had the time to do so, & I think I only had non-classwork related conversations with three people the whole three years I was there. I don’t really recommend going through college that way because I am sure most people would have a better time talking to people & whatnot, but I had a really, really rough time of it mentally. I listened to a lot of music on my iPod (not in class, obviously, just like, waiting for class to start, riding the bus, etc.) & I was scarily obsessed with this guy that was in most of my classes. I spent a lot of time obsessing over him—I’m not recommending it or saying it was healthy, but it’s not like I was hurting him in any way & it made me feel a lot better to have this sort of pretend relationship in my head, I felt like he was my friend even though he didn’t know my name or probably that I existed. I brought my laptop so that I didn’t feel so alone in between classes & I found things that made me happy—I loved going in the gardens when I had spare time & taking naps or reading. I also liked wandering through the libraries. I always picked electives that were things I enjoyed instead of things relating to my degree, which I only picked because it was broad & general enough that it’d help me out in most jobs.
I tried to take the things that I enjoyed & concentrate on those even if I really, really hated all the rest, which I think is a pretty good way to go through most things in life. Like I said, I’m really sorry you’re in that situation. That was probably the most unhappy time in my entire life. It’s kind of weird, though—that school made me absolutely miserable, but now that I’m not there, I remember the good things much more vividly…I guess that’s just how it is when everything else is bad, it makes the good things seem better. I’ve walked around campus some since graduating & it always makes me feel so indescribably weird…it’s very bittersweet because I have so many regrets, but I don’t even know what those regrets are—yeah, I wish I had been somewhere with people that were more “different,” but that’s such a broad generalization, & it’s entirely possible I would’ve been miserable there, too, so I don’t even really know what I wish for. But I do wish I had done it differently & I guess been more, I don’t know, immersed? or at least made a friend or two.
I’m really sorry. :( I don’t know how old she is, but it sounds like she could be on her way out. Mammary tumors are often benign, but sometimes tumors can be indicative of other issues going on internally. Rats definitely get a lot lazier with aging, so it’s entirely possible she’s just getting older, but if she’s over 2, I’d say she’s probably nearing the end of her lifespan. Try to keep her comfortable & if it’s at all possible, have her euthanized if she starts showing signs of discomfort or the tumor gets large enough that it’s affecting her mobility. I have experienced several body tumors & the rat always passed away peacefully before the lumps got big enough to affect them in any way.
Oh man, I got so panicky reading the first line, & was cracking up at the end. I think I could leave my cage open for a week & I don’t know that Courage & Wesley would ever leave or even notice the door was open, lol. Alan & Pax would leave, but it’d only be to go try to get into the girls’ cage.
I definitely vastly prefer boys & if I could only keep one sex, it’d be boys, but I know a lot of people love girls. I hate the generalization that all boys are lazy & cuddly & all girls are hyperactive & wild, because I’ve had plenty of boys that remained active well into adulthood (Pax is 2 & he’s just as active as my females whenever we’re playing), but most boys definitely do tend to be a lot more laid-back. I think it’s worth experiencing both sexes just so you can do it.
Keep in mind that boys will fight sometimes & it may be necessary to get one or both neutered—it’s not incredibly common & I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s something you necessarily need to be super-concerned about, but I’ve experienced severe aggression issues plenty of times…I’ve had 28 adult males total—most were fine without neutering, but three had very, very bad aggression problems & three others had minor issues that were solved with neutering, & I’ve had two others that probably would’ve benefited immensely from a neuter. I’ve got a big group of young males right now & at least one is more than likely going to need a snip due to aggression. That part can be a little stressful because it is a big expense & it’s frustrating to have to deal with them fighting.
Aww, I’m sorry. :( Feel free to vicariously enjoy mine!
I have no idea why you’re not able to get them, like if it’s due to health issues or family reasons or money or you’re in a dorm or whatever, so I don’t mean this to sound patronizing at all, but if you know you’re not able to get them, just remember that you’re doing the right thing by not having them at the moment. I have seen way too many people that get pets even when they don’t have the money or the time & that always makes me sad because it’s not a good situation for the animal & it’s upsetting for the person when they realize they have to give them up. I hope your situation changes soon & you are able to have them again one day!
Hi! Are you talking about like in between her toes? I guess it could be a fungus of some sort, but I wouldn’t be too concerned unless it seems to be causing her pain or there’s some sort of wound or something. I’m not really sure what you mean without seeing it, so I hate to even give any advice on it, to be honest. I’d take her to the vet if it starts spreading or if she isn’t walking properly or is biting at it excessively.
Ugggggh I’ve thought for about a year now that I was developing asthma & it’s gotten MUCH worse recently. The pollen has been terrible here for the last couple of weeks & the last two nights, I haven’t been able to sing in the car or dance around the rat cage because I ran out of breath. I started coughing so bad last night that I threw up.
I made a doctor’s appointment for Thursday, but I’m really worried that he’s just gonna be like “IT’S YOUR ANIMALS, GET RID OF THEM” & refuse to give me an inhaler or whatever. I know the animals probably make it worse, but I don’t mind dealing with a little bit of discomfort to have them. I don’t know if I’m being irrational or not because I’ve had very limited experiences with doctors since reaching adulthood & I have a feeling this is mostly my anxiety overreacting & it’s not like I can’t find another doctor to go to if this one is a meaniepants.
If this goes okay, I will go to an ob/gyn to see about birth control, since my regular week & a half long episodes of suicidal depression seem to be the same time every month & I assume they’re hormone-related.
AAAAAAH my last experience seeing a doctor was awful & the first time I went she was all “Oh wow, you have mild OCD & pretty bad social anxiety & you are depressed, here’s some medication!” & then the medication didn’t work & I was honest about it & asked if I could try something different & all of a sudden, she acted like there was no medicine that could help me & she became completely unwilling to work with me whatsoever. and I know that was probably just a bad doctor but it still made me uneasy because that’s the only time I’ve seen a doctor as an adult.
My manager came up to me at work today & said “Okay, this is not a big deal at ALL, so don’t get upset with yourself because it’s really really not a big deal & I swear I’m not getting onto you in the slightest, but you’ve been doing this wrong but it’s fine & it’s really not a huge deal” & I think that was the only time anyone’s ever corrected me on anything ever & not had me go “I’M SO SORRY I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO MESS UP I’LL GO BACK & FIX IT” & it actually made me giggle a little & I didn’t go cry in the bathroom afterwards.
but now, several hours later, it made me paranoid, because I’ve only been there two months & I’ve never had a conversation with anyone there about anything remotely anxiety/mental-related & AM I REALLY THAT OBVIOUS WHEN I GET UPSET AT MYSELF FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG?!?!?! EVERYONE THERE MUST THINK I’M BATSHIT CRAZY aaaaaaaaaah they probably all hate me. Every time I hear anyone whispering about anyone anywhere in the building, I stop typing so that I can hear better & then I try to pay as close attention as I can to listen for mentions of me & admittedly I have never heard anything, but I still worry.
on a brighter note, tomorrow is Administrative Professionals’ Day & I know that is a bullshit made up holiday BUT I AM AN ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONAL NOW AND I HAVE A WHOLE DAY, HOW EXCITING!!!! I wish I got a cake & balloons or something.